Still one of my best “Creating Memories” dad moments.
When he was little, Pace was massively into Batman. So I went out to Spirit of Halloween the night before Halloween and bought a Robin costume which I wore to work then messaged Shea to send Pace out to the street in costume when I got off the bus to surprise him. This was his reaction when he saw me!
(And not sure if I should put an NSFW tag as they only had a costume one size smaller than I needed so when I squeezed into it, my Robin was definitely knobbin’ – if you know what I mean!) 😮
One of the many advantages of working in a library over a corporate environment is that you’re generally less likely to see these behaviours. But we still have our fair share – I mean, in terms of “micromanaging” is a profession that attracts people who want to organize all the world’s information from 000 to 999 the type of person who’s not going to get involved in the minutia of other people’s work? 😉
Here are tips about people with dementia that I just discovered…some of them I knew but some are new to me and will help me with my mom and maybe help some of you too.
Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Mom- it’s Margaret.”
NEVER ask- Do you know who I am??? That causes anxiety.
If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.
Being told I have a “Working Class Heart” is definitely up there with some of the best compliments I’ve ever received. And if it evokes John Lennon, I’ll take it!
(I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about the concept of “thoughtfulness” and how that interacts with kindness and empathy. Might be a topic for a future Wisdom Wednesday post…)
At any rate, this game was during a break in my Masters program. My parents came to visit so we went into Toronto to sightsee a bit before going to see family in the Orangeville/Grand Valley area. But we had a rainy day so went to this game (that’s my memory anyhow – again, might be wrong on some of this) and got the cheapest tickets – $10 each or something – but ended up sitting right behind home plate, just way up high.
Pretty fun memory – especially given the Blue Jays are now in the World Series.
