Pace has a new cousin! Almost six months to the day after he was born, Pace's cousin, Dennon Robert Thompson arrived in very similar circumstances – breech position requiring an unplanned c-section.
It was a weird sense of deja vu for me all day – finding my way to the labour and delivery unit, sitting in the same waiting room, visiting the same Robin's Donuts to kill time. Tallie (the new mother) was even put in the exact same mother and baby room as Shea had been. Speaking of which, Shea enjoyed the day too as she got to see things from a different perspective including being part of many of the things she had to miss when she had a c-section of her own such as the baby getting its initial assessment and so on.
For a break later in the afternoon, we went to visit the ward Shea works on and ended up having a conversation with one of her co-workers about the unsolicited “advice” you get from everyone and anyone when raising a child.
“Use what makes sense to you, ignore what doesn't and say 'thank-you' to everyone who offers some nugget of wisdom.”
This was a timely conversation as this advice seems to be coming more frequently lately as people comment on some of the decisions we've made on how we're raising Pace.
In fact, I decided to write a list summarizing our most “controversial” choices:
1. Co-Sleeping
Not to generalize but there are a lot of people who tend to be our parents' age (er, I didn't say “our parents…period”, did I? 😉) who can't understand our choice to have Pace sleep with us. Comments range from “you'll never get him out of your bed once you let him in” to “he's more likely to die of SIDS if you do that!” – both of which are pretty much bunk as far as we're concerned. We love the connection, the comfort and the convenience of having him between us every night and that's why we do it. (Oh, and also because he's been nursing every two hours lately. 😈)
2. Disposable Diapers
Shea and I were sure that we were going to use cloth diapers – either a service or laundering ourselves when Pace was born. I think it was Quinn who passed along a Wired article late last year that changed my thinking on this. It said that each type of diaper – cloth and disposable – was pretty much equal in terms of its environmental damage – they just occurred in different ways. Plus, with us being on the road so much because of the job I ended up taking, disposable diapers were simply just so much easier.
3. Exclusive (and Extended) Breastfeeding
It's unreal that this is even considered a controversial idea in our society but the fact that Shea has chosen to breastfeed exclusively for the first five months of Pace's life and intends to breastfeed for at least a year and possibly two is exactly that – controversial to many people. So very very sad. (Shea's so militant that she even refuses to pump breast milk to be given to Pace by bottle – “I want to be able to say that my baby has never eaten from a bottle.” is something I've heard more than once) On a semi-related note, Shea also loves to breastfeed in public and enjoys any shocked reactions she gets.
4. Eating Everything (including meat! 😮)
Traditionally, the way you introduce food is, at six months, you give your baby rice cereal. For a month. Then you introduce a bland vegetable. For a week. Then another one. For a week. Then another one. For a week. Then, after a month or so has passed, you try a fruit (veggies are first since they're less sweet so the thinking was that a baby who got fruit first would never grow to like veggies.) Meat was reserved for nine months at the earliest. So the news that we've introducing a variety of foods in rapid succession, including pureed meats (or a large piece of steak to suck on 😛), gets a fairly negative reaction from quite a few people including our family doctor (who is otherwise a great guy and in fact, won the Saskatchewan Physician of the Year award a few years back.) But various medical professionals are increasingly saying that meat can be introduced as early as six months, especially in exclusively breastfed babies, to give them sufficient iron (see question 7 on this linked page) and also because of the theory that meat is simply another food that humans eat and babies are, after all, human. (I should note that we're not completely stupid and are not giving Pace nuts, strawberries, wheat, dairy or any other common allergens.)
5. NHL Training Starts Early
Jason has put Pace on a training routine including pretend skating on the slippery kitchen counter, “bodychecking” pillows stacked on the couch and regular watching in-depth analysis of Saturday night hockey games. Occasionally, Shea has to point out that shouting “if you don't make the NHL, daddy doesn't love you!” is probably counter-productive. Then she hands Jason a Youth Soccer pamphlet.
Anyhow, here's a pic of Pace napping with his new cousin (who is only a couple hours old).
They don't look like it now but I can pretty much guarantee they're going to be hell on wheels in about ten years.
Comments 4
nice post. not sure if you knew but my wife and I are expecting our second son in late January. my first son just turned 7 this past Friday and we had his party today. so it has been a while for me to ruminate about some of these topics you raise. for the most part, I support your thinking and your thoughts. by that I mean, your independence of thinking as well as the thoughts/points themselves that you raise.
I don't remember how we fed our son. My wife being Japanese means more rice, tea and other things than here. I'm about to go through it again so…stay tuned. lol.
Chris
Good post.
We did much the same as you. Although, for medical reasons Mika was on a bottle at night after about two months. Connor breast-fed regularly until he was 2 1/2 — he was close to four when he lost all interest.
The co-sleeping is also something we do, although in all honestly I would do it differently now. I would still co-sleep but would have been more active in trying to convince them of the merits of sleeping in their own rooms much earlier. Like you said, it is really convenient and lovely when sleeping with a nursing newborn. Completely different experience when you are sleeping with a tossing-and turning 6 year old and 9 year old.
I'm not sure that they sleep as soundly as they could or should. I know I don't, so I'm not going to assume that they are sleeping any differently. And because they are in the habit, it really isn't going to change any time soon.
There must be a happy medium, but the proponents of co-sleeping tend to be politicized and defensive — and therefore purist — so I haven't been able to find any literature that gives good advice for finding that medium.
Cheers
Congrats on the new addition.
That's a good point about different ethnic backgrounds having different food introduction strategies – one of our pet peeves is the “don't eat anything spicy or it will bug the baby” school of thinking – I think of all the cultures in the world that eat spicy food and their kids turn out okay.
Yeah, a lot of these decisions lead to further questions – how long do you co-sleep being one of them. I'm not sure if we have an answer yet – we'll go on instinct like we have for so much.