Head Tale

Shea was deadly ill (said it was sickest she ever felt) a couple weeks ago but never tested positive for Covid. So, when I got sick, I thought I had this…

But tested today and it turns out that both Shea and I have this…

Fuuuuuuuuuck!

Such a weird mix of emotions to finally test positive after so many years avoiding it.

Here’s a few:

Anger
This is a big one, mostly at society having basically said “Oh, we’re all just going to get it anyhow so we won’t do much to prevent spread” without consideration for the potential short-term impacts on elderly and medically at-risk people, not to mention potential long-term impacts on everyone who gets it.  (Someone on Twitter made a good point – definitely don’t listen to politicians about Covid and even take things scientists/doctors say with a grain of salt since this is an ongoing, always evolving situation. But if you really want to know the risks of Covid, pay attention to the insurance industry who are watching life insurance and long-term disability claims skyrocket!)

Sadness
Again, it felt inevitable to catch it at some point.  But still a huge feeling a sadness to finally get it after having gone so long without contracting it.  Then to end up getting it, especially a week before Christmas?  Merry Christmas to us!

Regret
A few thoughts of “Where did I get it?  Could I have done anything different to avoid it?  I should’ve been more diligent in masking *all the time*, not just in big crowds or at work or whatever.”

Disappointment 
Shea and I were very close to being eligible for our next booster (I think Shea was literally ten days away and even got turned down at the hospital when they were going around offering booster shots.  I’m also eligible sometime in late December.)

Anxious 
Once you have it, of course you can’t go back.  But now, I’ll probably worry a lot more about possible long-term issues that Covid might cause for my health as well as Shea and Pace’s (Sasha has been sick this week with me but didn’t test positive…yet and neither did Pace.)

Resignation 
Pace had it back in October and we feel like we dodged a bullet when no one else in the family caught it then but it’s felt like an inevitability, perhaps since mask mandates were dropped/daily Covid reporting in Sask was dropped/as the fall of everybody being sick ramped up.

Annoyed
I think anytime I get sick, I’m a bit annoyed – that I can’t go to work or shopping or I might miss things I had planned or whatever.  This is particularly acute a week before Christmas – we had most of our shopping done and even had presents ready but I always enjoy the days leading up to Christmas to go into stores and go out for a special Christmas lunch with Shea and stuff like that.

Embarrassed
I don’t think I made a huge deal of it but I did mention it once or three times on this blog that I was proud being part of the ever-shrinking club of people who had never tested positive for Covid.  I mean, I literally recorded an exchange in a post earlier this week where I joked about being “one of the seven people in Regina who has not had Covid yet”.  I’ve also posted a lot about Covid and much of it very fear-mongery but, in all honesty, I think that was/is my way of saying “If everyone else is going to say everything is perfectly normal in the middle of a pandemic where millions have died or are suffering potentially long-term health implications, I’m going to go the opposite direction.”  As always, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.  And I don’t believe in karma and will *continue* posting threads about Covid that catch my eye as I do think this is an ongoing serious crisis that many people are pretending doesn’t exist or is over and my catching Covid isn’t going to change that!

Relief
This is a weird emotion but one person I know who was very cautious still got it but said it was almost a relief to get it over with.  Another person described finally getting Covid as “ripping the bandaid off”.  I don’t know if having it will make me less, more or about the same level of cautiousness (for me, I was probably on the more cautious side but not completely wrapped in bubble wrap either – I wore an N95 at work most of the time but not always; in large crowds most of the time but not always, obviously not when I went to restaurants but also didn’t eat out nearly as much as we used to, mostly when I went into stores but not when I was outside, etc.) Also relieved that I don’t seem to have lost my sense of smell or taste as that’d just be weird!

So anyhow, so far my Covid has felt like a bad cold – runny nose, chest congestion, hacking cough, weird plugged feeling in my ears, dry mouth (especially at night) but no bad headaches (though some mild ones), muscle pain or, like I said, no loss of smell or taste. [Edit:  I spoke to soon – Shea and I spent one day dipping our noses into fresh ground coffee and eating peanut butter before realising that our sense of smell/taste was definitely muted if not gone completely!  What a weird fucking feeling.]

I definitely know I’m sick but I’ve also been sicker (I remember having a flu at Shea’s parents once and having to crawl to the bathroom as I couldn’t stand up!) so I think I’m obligated to say it’s “pretty mild” (since everybody who has Covid that doesn’t end up in ICU tends to say that – though I do know a couple people who said “Covid beat me up pretty bad” too.)

I guess it’s a lot of rest, a lot of liquids and we’ll see how I’m doing in a few days…