1. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?
After 15 years of being outspoken, opinionated and irreverent, I was called into HR meetings not once but multiple times over the past year or so. I even ended up getting referred for personal coaching!
Not going to lie – I found this just a tad ironic considering the things that I’ve seen from managers during that same time frame – acting in hostile, demeaning ways. Gaslighting and lying outright to staff members. Making staff members cry. Or creating an environment where staff have to cry – before coming to work, in the parking lot, on their way home. Using offensive words casually in front of staff. Admitting to picking and choosing which rules they would enforce. Entrapping employees. And that’s just off the top of my head.
But yes, tell me more about respectful, professional communication and your harassment-free workplace or how important accountability and professionalism are! 😉
2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The daughter of our camping neighbour had a baby boy, Waylon.
3. Did anyone close to you die?
It feels like every conversation with my dad included a reference to someone from my hometown who passed away who was a parent of the kids I grew up with and/or who were huge parts of our community in various ways – Pearl Elliott, Val Gorin, Betty Anne Williamson, Joanne Olson, Ruth and Jake Reihl who were married for 56 years and passed away only a month apart, another IH family had a lot of tragedy where a young daughter passed from cancer then the grandfather had a heart attack then another relative committed suicide right before Christmas. My Great Aunt Ruth Peet died at age 91. A family friend whose son was Pace’s classmate since kindergarten died in a tragic workplace accident a month before Christmas which is doubly tragic as the family had come from Eastern Europe for a better life and both children already had serious health issues. Finally, in terms of celebrity deaths, the shocking death of NHL Superstar, Johnny Gaudreau and his brother, Matthew, both killed by a drunk driver while bike riding before a family wedding was horrendous. Arguably, Johnny was the sports star killed closed to the peak of his career. And both of those last two deaths are a strong reminder about how quickly a life can change.
4. What places did you visit?
* Dreams Playa Mujeres
Definitely mixed emotions as our entire family – my parents, my sister’s family of five, my family of four, went to Dreams Playa Mujeres for what we all knew but didn’t really talk about would be our last vacation as a family with mom’s dementia progressing rapidly (it was already pretty bad – at one point, Shea and I were walking on the beach with her and she looked over “Is your mother here?” she asked me. “No, she hasn’t been here for a couple years” I thought but didn’t say.
* Mirage Las Vegas
We needed a “holiday from the holiday” after a Mexican holiday that was a bit of a working holiday looking after mom so we decided to do a somewhat spontaneous trip to Las Vegas in April. We booked our stay at the iconic Mirage not even realising it would soon be closing and re-branded as a Hard Rock property (and apparently my pink/orange pocket shirt is my “traveling shirt” based on the last two pics!) 😉
* Nickle Lake, Weyburn
As always, we spent as much time as possible at our seasonal campsite, often dreaming about how we could live this lifestyle in retirement – with a small camper or motorhome and just travelling from park to park across Canada and the US.
* Regina -> Calgary -> Golden -> Kelowna -> Fernie -> Medicine Hat
Did a whirlwind tour to Kelowna for a week in mid-August with our entire family including Pace’s girlfriend and our dog (booking pet-friendly rooms for five instead of four was definitely an expensive challenge but we did it!)
5. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
This felt like the hardest year of my life is many ways – dealing with everything around mom’s dementia, some other family health stuff that boiled over into some trouble at work which, in turn, only added to my stress (that’s on me but yeah, when you get not one but two different letters rescinded, that’s maybe not fully on you either?) Anyhow, for 2025, I am hoping for relative calm, both personally and professionally.
6. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory?
Feb 19 – leave for Mexico (although the trip was in jeopardy after a text from my sister in the middle of the night before we left who admitted she’d been naive about how bad mom’s condition was after a *very* rough night for all of them at a local hotel left her ready to cancel the entire trip!)
Mar 30 – leave for Vegas
April 13 – buy 2022 Honda Pilot car for Shea
May 25 – buy new fridge for our house as we slowly work to replace all our appliances (this is paid by a bit of windfall cash Shea gets)
July 17 – after a few tries, Pace gets his driver’s license!
July 20 – sell our 2013 Town and Country Minivan
July 24 – I buy a 2021 Hyundai Kona
Aug 11-17 – One Week Whirlwind Trip to Kelowna
Oct 17-18 – Pace and his girlfriend Ashlynn Attending Open Houses for SaskPoly/U of R
Oct 31 – Have my second (or is it third? Fourth?) meeting with HR in the past couple years on what is our HR Manager’s last day before retirement. To say it’s a memorable meeting, would be an understatement and it leads to a disciplinary letter being placed on my file but which is later withdrawn (as I mentioned, this is second similar letter that’s been withdrawn though the earlier one wasn’t disciplinary – just someone who said more than they should have in a reply. But nope, no apology for the mistake!) 🙂
Nov 5 – Trump Wins Again Beating a More Favoured, More Qualified Candidate For the Second Time (though less shocking than last time since US already proved they can elect someone as bad as Trump.) Get Letter of Reprimand at end of day based on that Oct 31 meeting which is withdrawn by end of year.
Dec 2-9 – worst week of the worst year of my life between some serious escalations with my mom and her dementia and some other escalated family health stuff.
Dec 16 – get word that there is a bed available for my mom in our hometown care home the following Monday which I later learn is being made available on an emergency basis. SHA can’t reach my dad so I end up accepting on behalf of my family (I was also the first one to tell my mom she had dementia a couple years ago – what a way to square the circle!)
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
No idea if she even read them or not but I sent near-daily texts to my mom and dad as well as my wife and kids from the time we booked our Mexico trip to the day we left with a Mexico Fact of the Day, a Song of the Day, a Link of the Day and a photo from a previous vacation.
8. What was your biggest failure of the year?
I’m obviously not going to list them but I (accidentally) did a few things that could probably be constituted as hate crimes if the person involved wasn’t so understanding! (And to be clear, nothing that got me into HR if that’s what you’re thinking!)
9. What was your biggest surprise?
Realising that it’s basically been 30 years since I graduated university and so many of the people I went to school with who went right into careers – teaching, military, public service – are now retiring! (Damn, why’d I do that decade stint in non-profits?!?)
My Hawaiian aunt, Mavis, who is also in the early stages of memory loss (about where my mom was a couple years ago with poor short-term memory and repeating questions being the main symptoms) doing a surprise visit with her daughter Soni (yes, my Hawaiian cousin is named Soni!) where they landed in Vancouver then drove to Calgary, Regina and Indian Head to visit as many of my aunt’s siblings as they could.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major – more dealing with Sasha’s undiagnosed health issues and my mom’s appointments/increasing number of issues due to falls/night wandering. Still think I’m 25 so often overdo it when lifting heavy stuff and suffer a sore back for a few days. Some colds/flus that were probably Covid but no testing so who knows anymore? A couple stomach flus with one particularly bad one after getting back from Vegas.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
So many things:
* Apple Watch to replace my Kickstarter original Pebble
* Battery pack for remote charging of devices which extends life of my phone greatly.
* New fridge with an ice maker/water dispenser. (I know a lot of people who’ve had leaks – likely due to Regina’s hard water – so we’ll have to watch it closely.)
* Not one but two new-to-us cars! Shea was first buying a 2022 Honda Pilot Black Edition then I bought a 2021 Hyundai Kona. Reward for years of driving really old vehicles (2013 for Shea, 2006 for me) and also a way to pass my old car onto Pace once he got his license.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Hockey Canada’s Women’s Team defeats the US in the Rivalry Series and we take in the Regina game as a family.
13. Whose behaviour left you underwhelmed or disappointed?
The ongoing sex scandals around Hockey Canada’s Men’s Junior Team (with the 2018 Team being a major focus this year) made worse by the fact that Hockey Canada actually had a fund to pay out settlements to victims!
I was also continually disappointed by the hypocrisy, incompetence and favouritism shown by people in positions of power who should never do that kind of stuff (humans going to human I guess?). In fact, one of the points we never agreed on during my coaching sessions was that my coach thought you should treat everyone with respect/have high expectations for everyone. My position was that respect is earned, not automatic with *any* position and that it’s okay to have higher expectations for people who are higher on the org chart. For example, if you’re making six figures as a manager, probably not good form to point a finger at half-time pages as one of the reasons your project didn’t do as well as you hoped.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Shea, you get a new car! Jason, you get a new car! Pace, you get a new (old) car! Shea’s also comes with a free promotional trip to Vegas so we’ll be heading back to Sin City sometime in the next couple years too. Speaking of Vegas, not one but two major trips to Las Vegas then our Kelowna road trip. (Dad and mom picked up the tab for the Mexico trip which was very generous, especially considering it was the most expensive resort we’ve ever stayed in.)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Las Vegas had more info, YouTube Videos, reviews, dedicated sites than any other destination we’ve ever been to which made researching and building anticipation easier than any other trip we’ve ever done.
16. What song/album will always remind you of this year?
I made a Vegas-themed playlist that started with the triple hit of “Viva Las Vegas” by Elvis, “Atomic City” by U2 and “Me and My Monkey” by Robbie Williams. Went to see double bill of Extreme/Living Colour at local Casino in the fall which brought back many high school memories. A coworker got me doing a deep dive on Bruce Springsteen late in the year (pretty sure “Born in the USA” was the first cassette I ever bought but I don’t really know his deeper catalogue as well as I should.)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
A) Happier or sadder? Even though this was the toughest year of my life in many ways, I’d say I’m happier – a lot of the challenges have brought Shea and I even more together; as tough as dementia is, I also find I love and appreciate time with my mom more than I ever have; Shea’s and my lives and careers are in really good places; nothing we are facing is insurmountable – just stressful and much of that stress was addressed with a variety of positive developments – literally five different positive developments in the last 2-3 weeks of the year.
B) Thinner or fatter? Been off booze again since the end of summer with almost no backsliding (Christmas was some minimal social drinking) but weight is being pretty stubborn about coming off. Might have to try some things I used to do such as “push-ups” and “jumping jacks” and “jogging” which I did regularly when I was much younger.
C) Richer or poorer? Same as last year – much richer and very conscious of how fortunate I am in so many ways that are far beyond my control but have worked out extremely well. How much richer? Early in the year, I wrote a fairly significant cheque to pay down our mortgage and *forgot* that I had done that when I tried to write another similar cheque later in the year! (I mean, this could also be a sign of early onset dementia since dementia runs in the family!) We met with our financial advisor and she told us the bank now offered a free service to provide your credit score. We told her we were already using a different service and Shea and I both had perfect credit. “What? I didn’t even think that was possible!” she said (again, this is our *financial* advisor who works with clients that have a certain minimum net worth and she hadn’t seen it in any of her clients?!?)
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading. The worst part of working in a library is that for every book you finish, your “To Read” list probably gets 10 books longer!
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Not gotten as worked up about other people’s hangups/hypocrisies/incompetence/daddy issues as I did. Probably should spend less time on social media (Facebook/Reddit/Twitter/TikTok and now BlueSky and Threads.)
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Very calm one – my mom was newly into her care home so my sister and her family spent Christmas with her there>. My family had our first Christmas that was just our immediate family since my son was born as the in-laws moved into Regina this year (also stressful-at-a-distance for Shea and I) so they said we could go ahead and open presents when the kids got up and they’d make their way over later in the morning. Pace’s girlfriend was even home with her family while Pace was with us so that reminded me of Shea and I when we first started dating trying to manage Christmas between two houses.
21. Who did you spend the most time communicating with?
We have a really great group of Community Librarians so we’ve spent a lot of time chatting through both formal and informal channels. I’m on the Union bargaining committee and between that and my frequent trips to HR, I’ve spent a lot of time talking to union folks.
With two big elections this year – provincial and municipal – I spent a lot of time talking with candidates I supported and other volunteers.
I’ve also communicated with a lot of healthcare providers including various specialists for my mom, myself and others in the family – SHA intake consultants, Alzheimers Society, neurologists, geriatric psychiatrists, touring various private care homes, counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, a couple visits to the Urgent Care Centre and more.
22. What was your favourite TV program?
Shea’s got me hooked on “Shameless” so that’s been our “go to” all year since there are lots of episodes and lots of seasons. I watched “Casino Confidential” which is a cheesy reality show set in Binions Casino after we got back from our Vegas trip. We ended the year watching “Who Killed JonBenet Ramsey?” which was a tough watch.
23. Do you hate anything that you didn’t hate at this time last year?
You know those people who, when you played school as kids always had to be the teacher and then, they were more focused on making up rules for the “classroom’ then getting anything productive done or having any fun? Yeah, not a fan of those people.
24. What was the best book(s) you read?
Shockingly (?) James Patterson’s “What Happens in Vegas?” was a timely essay collection right before we went to Vegas. “Preparing For War”. I always tend to have an unofficial “trilogy” of books around a single interest and this year’s was:
1. “Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America”
2. “Preparing For War: The Extremist History of White Christian Nationalism — And What Comes Next”
3. “Black Pill: How I Witnessed the Darkest Corners of the Internet Come to Life, Poison Society, and Capture American Politics” and “
A dystopian anti-meat, anti-capitalism book called “Tender Is The Flesh” was cited as the most horrific book ever on a few different lists. But I just found it to be a poor man’s “The Road”.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
William Prince after raves following his concert in Regina plus, as previously mentioned, rediscovering Extreme, Living Colour, and Bruce Springsteen.
26. What did you want and get?
After four years of regression, family debates, hours in appointments with specialists and more, we finally got my mother placed in a care home. And bonus – it was the one in our hometown, only a couple blocks from the house I grew up in and where my dad still lives. In fact, one nurse said she was working there when my Grandma Hammond went into the same home over twenty years ago! And as a retired nurse, my mom is still “doing rounds” and “helping with charting” thinking she’s part of the current staff! (One thing that may have helped her adjustment is that she did her training at the Grey Nuns where she lived in residence so deep down, she likely remembers living where you work!)
27. What did you want and not get?
One of the ongoing debates about where mom should go and when was related to whether my dad would go with her, downsize or stay in the home I grew up in. We didn’t get any movement on this front but that will be something we all will have to face at some point in the future.
28. What were your favourite films of this year?
“Bitconned”
“Society of the Snow”
“Saltburn”
“Joyride” is hilarious right before our trip
“Scooped”
“Money Machine” about Vegas
“Here’s The Coopers” – Xmas movie
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Mom and dad came to our campsite but it was a very hot day and mom was very confused and tired so it was a very short visit. I have to stop to think about it (dementia?!?) but I turned 51 this birthday.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not to be greedy (yeah, right!) but maybe a third winter vacation after Cancun & Las Vegas?!?
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
I wore a CUPE-provided hoodie and due to a handful of pins I’d accumulated over the years (long-term service, SLA membership, Regina/Sask/Canada pins, etc. etc.) plus a growing addiction to Temu inspired by my father-in-law, I started bedazzling my hoodie so that it now resembles a suit of armour more than a regular hoodie.
(Probably some unintentional symbolism in feeling like I need a suit of armour at work these days!)
But all the children’s literature/pop culture character pins I got off Temu are great conversation starters. Now I just need to figure out an easy way to make sure I still wash it regularly without having to take 50 pins off every time.
Also, I won’t say it was the reason I bought a Kona but I won’t say it wasn’t – the aunt I mentioned earlier lives in Kailua-Kona on Oahu so I also went a bit wild personalizing my new car with a Hawaii-theme – “Kailua” custom plate, decals of palm trees and rainbows and sunsets and turtles on teh outside, turtle-themed accents and lights on the inside. (No way I’ll ever get away with a hit & run now!)
32. What kept you sane?
Although it was imposed on me, the personal coaching sessions were something I came to look forward to. In addition, I had lunch with a former colleague who is also now coaching/consulting and that was beyond reassuring that many of the things I feel gaslit and demeaned about aren’t unusual in libraries and among managers she works with across Canada…unfortunately. Finally, I appreciated the feedback from many current and former staff who let me know they saw me as a kind, supportive leader. In fact, I got the nicest letter I probably ever got from a staff member who was leaving Regina who called me “the best supervisor I ever had” (something I’ve heard from multiple staff). That’s worth more to me than any 10, I mean, 15 year service pin, ever will be! 😉
33. What political issue stirred you the most?
The STF job actions/strike mandate situation was something I watched closely. The entire US Presidential campaign feels insane – Trump running as a convicted felon, not one but two assassination attempts, Joe Biden steps down after a disastrous debate performance that sort of reminds me of talking to my dementia-suffering mother, Kamala has strong campaign but still loses to Trump in the end (almost making me into a “Stop the Steal” left-wing conspiracy theorist – how can a whole country be so misguided?)
34. Who did you miss?
I said it last year but it still applies – my mom is alive but I miss her so much. I also miss a colleague named Tony Neal who was such a mentor and guide to so many different staff members at RPL over the years. I have been told that I’m sort of filling a similar role now that Tony used to. But man, do I still wish I could call him for advice sometimes!
35. Who was the best new person you met?
Getting to know Pace’s new girlfriend who was so shy, she could barely talk when we first met her to now taking her on major trips and having her be like a part of the family (literally, I think she spends more time at our house than her own house) is pretty cool.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year.
Work is a place you go to for a few hours a day for a few years of your life but family is forever.
37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?
You know that old trees just grow strongerAnd old rivers grow wilder every dayOld people just grow lonesomeWaiting for someone to say“Hello in there, hello”
“Hello In There” – John Prine
38. Link to a photo that sums up your year
39. Best App of the Year
I’ve really enjoyed using the Sleep function and other health functions (heart rate! Distance walked!) of my new Apple Watch.
40. What single moment defined your year?
My coach regularly said I should ask myself “Is this serving you?” I did and said some things in a meeting with HR that did not serve me well (at all!) but did make me realise that sometimes, standing up to bullies, hypocrites and those who think they’re better than others is more important, even if it may not serve your own personal interests.
41. Best Meal
Gordon Ramsey’s Fish & Chips in Vegas? Lobster Rolls in Vegas? The patio of the beer pub across from the Bellagio Fountains in Vegas? Peanut butter and banana sandwiches in our room for breakfast as a tribute to Elvis in Vegas (and also a way to save money!)
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