When I was in undergrad, I was a regular at the Bushwakker Brew Pub for Robbie Burns Night each January. Every year, they had a draw to go with the celebrations and on one particularly memorable occasion, I happened to win a free keg. Since the next major holiday after Robbie Burns Night (barring Groundhog Day of course) is Valentine's Day, I thought it would be a good idea to have a party, invite all my single male and female friends, tap the keg and voila – romance (or at least drunken foolishness) was sure to follow.
The party was a blast (although, in retrospect, probably not as charming for the women who were brave enough to show up as for the men) and ever since, I have always thought of Valentine's Day with the name we used for the party, “Valenkeg's Day”.
Also since then, that slight turn of phrase has helped take the edge off an otherwise insufferable holiday. When you're single, you're made to feel like a leper for not being in a relationship. When you're in a relationship, there is Christmas Consumption level of pressure to buy crap – flowers, chocolates, expensive dinners, tickets to even more expensive shows, etc. to show/express/prove your love.
So have a pint on me and remember, own the holiday or it will own you!
(And in a tribute to grade school when everybody shared the love, I offer a copy of this card to each and everyone of you…)
WORDS PEOPLE HAVE USED TO DESCRIBE THE TASTE OF BUSHWAKKER'S PALLISER PORTER BEER TO ME
Banana
Chocolate
Cigarette
Coffee
Dirt
Earth
Oak
Smoke
The correct answer is, of course, Heaven. 
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