We were talking about having multiple children today at coffee break (“I think Shea and I want to survive this one before we decide that” was my take) and a co-worker mentioned this e-mail which she forwarded to me. Too true.
The Birth Order of Children
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms
your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing For Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't
do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them
neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the
ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the
baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go
home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some
juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or
not.
2nd baby: You change his diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change his diaper before others start to complain about the
smell or you see it sagging to his knees.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story
Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five
times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number
where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't
squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital
and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin
to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance.
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