This is a post I started near the end of library school and meant to post during my furious last week of longish, library school-related entries. But I never got it finished so I thought it would make a good 500th post for this blog instead.
Yep, I’ve been at it just over a year and I’m averaging around a post and a half a day! (But with a baby on the way, by this time next year, I’ll be lucky to be celebrating 600 posts. 
)
Disclaimers
1) Yes, I know these are stereotypes. Yes, I know that you can be both an activist and a mouse. Or a geek and an academic. Or in reality, probably all library students have a bit of all of the following “types” in them. What I’m trying to say is: this is for fun – put away the PC instincts for a minute and have a laugh!
2) I’m not specifically describing any specific person I knew at library school in these write-ups although I am combining many characteristics of many people. Still, the standard novel’s disclaimer applies: “Any resemblance to people living or dead, is entirely coincidental.”
You can play along at home. Pick the two or three types that best define you and add them to your business card, ie: Jason Hammond, “Mature Party Geek”
Now, on to the dumb stereotypes…
THE ACADEMIC
Summary: An overachiever who attends library school more for the “school” part than the “library” part. Will be one of those rare souls who does all the assigned readings. Upon completion, will immediately enter the PhD program believing that practical library experience is beneath them.
Dress: Tweed, preferably with elbow patches.
Typical Quote: “I believe it was Foucault who observed that visual culture has a
genealogy that needs exploring and defining in the modern as well as postmodern period.”
Favourite Book: The Spectre of Marx: The State of the Debt, the Work of Mourning, and the New International – Jacques Derrida
Ideal Library Role: Future Library School Professor
THE ACTIVIST
Summary: Angry at everything, this person has a cause that they will gladly share with you (whether you ask or not.)
Dress: Tie-dye. A bandanna is a distinct possibility as well.
Typical Quote: “I’m boycotting <fill in the blank> because <fill in the other blank>.”
Favourite Book: No Logo – Naomi Klein
Ideal Library Role: Community Outreach
THE AIMLESS
Summary: Comes to library school once they realise that their degree in 18th Century French Lit won’t get them a job much beyond Wal-Mart Greeter.
Dress: Varies but they tend to wear the same thing everyday as decisions make their heads hurt.
Typical Quote: “I don’t know. Maybe?”
Favourite Book: Nausea – Jean-Paul Sartre
Ideal Library Role: Academic librarian since they love being in school
THE BOOKWORM
Summary: Often confused with The Mouse (see below), The Bookworm is slightly different in that they aren’t necessarily shy, they’re just always reading – in class, on the bus, in the elevator between floors 1 and 2.
Dress: The absent-minded professor style – mismatched socks, uncombed hair, wrinkled shirt and pants. No time for these details when there are books to read!
Typical Quote: “Did you read <insert name of any book on Globe and Mail Fiction or Nonfiction Top Ten list>? It was great!”
Favourite Book: Publisher’s catalogues.
Ideal Library Role: Acquisitions Librarian
THE ECCENTRIC
Summary: In
a world that attracts mildly eccentric personalities, the true library
school eccentric is a special case. Freed from societal norms, they
indulge in such unique activities talking to themselves, talking to talking to computers in the lab, talking to books on the shelves.
Dress: Outlandish – underwear on the outside, clothes inside out. Random accessories of many colours. A range of hats.
Typical Quote: “My cat talks to me.”
Favourite Book: The dictionary (working on reading it from cover to cover)
Ideal Library Role: Children’s Librarian (seriously)
THE ENTREPRENEUR
Summary: This person believes overdue fees are a good source of revenue for libraries, charging patrons for priority placement on holds is a better source of revenue and an in-house Starbucks would be the best source of revenue. Likely ended up in library school after being rejected by an MBA program.
Dress: Suit and tie, even on “Casual Fridays”
Typical Quote: “Why shouldn’t Coca Cola have naming rights to the children’s section?”
Favourite Book: How To Win Friends & Influence People – Dale Carnegie
Ideal Library Role: Vendor rep or library consultant
THE GEEK
Summary: Obsessed with computers, not so much with social interaction (unless Facebook counts.)
Dress: baggy comfortable clothes, often sweat pants or a mumu. Shaving and haircuts optional.
Typical Quote: “There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.”
Favourite Book: The Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien
Ideal Library Role: Systems Librarian
(Another
disclaimer: I had a long debate with a colleague about whether I should
include this and the following sections as they’re not really “types”
and theoretically, the only two items on this page that possibly
violate the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. But again, this post is
just for fun, I’m completely aware that all of these entries are
trafficking in dumb stereotypes and I think it’s a shame that a guy who
spent so much time reading “Mad” magazine as a child would self-censor
now. In fact, the bigger crime is that I wasn’t able to make these
sections a lot funnier so if you’re going to be offended by something,
be offended by that!)
THE HOMOSEXUAL
Summary: Librarianship is known as one of the most progressive, liberal professions on earth (slightly to the left of South American freedom fighter) and this is part of the reason library schools attract such a high percentage of gay students.
Dress: Pink for the men, plaid for the women.
Typical Quote: Female: “In a male-dominated society…” Male: “In a male-dominated society…”
Favourite Book: The Importance of Being Ernest – Oscar Wilde
Ideal Library Role: Teen Services.
THE MALE
Summary: Men are a minority at library school, filling anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3 of the spots. Yet, they are a majority in terms of library upper-level management positions (this stat is based on my sample size of the four upper level managers I know. But I suspect it’s pretty accurate.) Male library students, being more sensitive than typical men (we cry during the national anthem before Hockey Night in Canada), tend to feel sincerely guilty about this imbalance.
Dress: Jean, t-shirts, backwards ball cap.
Typical Quote: (about men in library school) “If you’re a man in library school, it’s likely that you’re either gay, married or weird. Possibly all three.”
Favourite Book: Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
Ideal Library Role: Reference (since so many men think they know everything anyhow)
THE MATURE STUDENT
Summary: Returns to school after a long absence of working and/or raising children. Tends to sit at the front centre of the classroom and often believes the class is a personal dialogue between them and the professor.
Dress: Librarian chic
Typical Quote: “Well, what I’ve found while working in the real world…”
Favourite Book: The Wealthy Barber – David Chilton
Ideal Library Role: Management (they’ve already got the experience!)
THE MOUSE
Summary: The librarian stereotype come to life. Quiet. Bookish. Mousy.
Dress: Glasses on a chain. Cardigan. Sensible shoes. Hair in a bun.
Typical Quote: “Shhh!”
Favourite Book: Fanny Hill (or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) –John Cleland (the flip side of the mousy stereotype – the horny librarian within!)
Ideal Library Role: Cataloguing.
THE PARTY ANIMAL
Summary: Exuberant personality who believes it is their mission to personally change the traditional stereotype of librarians, mainly by consuming copious amounts of alcohol.
Dress: Bar clothes, heavy make-up, styled hair, pack of cigarettes at the ready.
Typical Quote: “One more round! Class doesn’t start until 8:30 a.m.”
Favourite Book: Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
Ideal Library Role: Public Relations & Marketing
Here are a couple other links to sites with a similar theme:
Something Awful Forums – A brief summary of 99% of the people you will ever meet in college (Be forewarned – these descriptions are quite rude but also, dead on much of the time.)
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